One year on

A year ago today we took a cab to the hospital at around 8am to have an induction and get labour started. I don't remember vividly that morning; the only thing I knew for sure was that I thought we had waited long enough (too long!) and that I wanted you out as soon as possible. I was feeling a bit frustrated as all my pregnant friends had given birth already and I was the only one left still with a huge belly. You were 10 days overdue and were not giving any signs to wanting to meet us. It was hot, everyone had already left town to go on holiday and the streets were empty. We checked into A&E and waited together with other 6 couples. It was a very long wait and only one topic to talk about: babies! Around midday we finally got our room and at 2pm we headed to the delivery room to get induced. We stayed there for two hours but nothing happened if not just us taking pictures, looking at the beautiful views across Rome from the window, complaining about the heat and wondering what would be happening next. We got sent back to our room and spent the rest of the afternoon chit chatting with our room mates who were expecting twins and booked for a c-section the next day. I was due for another induction shot at 8pm, but at 7.30 while talking with our friends my water broke. We waited about 15 minutes before calling the midwife and by the time she arrived contractions had started. I remember leaning against the bed frame trying to remember what I had learned at yoga classes, the bee breath, the golden thread exercise, and so many other things I didn't know I'd be able to remember. All the delivery rooms were full and we were assigned to the emergency one. I remember being able to walk out the door of our room and all of a sudden contractions getting too painful I needed a wheelchair. I took my time to get off the chair and climb to the bed, I wanted to stand, but they made me lay down. There were about 10 people in that tiny room and so much light I could hardly find Gianluca's face. I was conscious the whole time, I remember exactly what I was going through; the pushing, the pain, me saying: "I don't want this baby anymore..", and just like that you were born at 8.50pm on August 1st. They put you on my chest, I looked at you and said to your dad you were absolutely beautiful! It was a strange feeling, different from what I experienced the first time around; it was love at first sight. So here you are, one year later, walking, talking, laughing and making our lives full. Happy first birthday my sweet little one!

With love, mama.